{"id":3166,"date":"2021-01-12T12:17:15","date_gmt":"2021-01-12T16:17:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/consistent-life.org\/blog\/?p=3166"},"modified":"2021-01-12T12:17:15","modified_gmt":"2021-01-12T16:17:15","slug":"couples-heartbreak","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/consistent-life.org\/blog\/index.php\/2021\/01\/12\/couples-heartbreak\/","title":{"rendered":"Hospital’s Attitude Adds to Couple’s Heartbreak"},"content":{"rendered":"

by Sarah Terzo<\/p>\n

Lindsey and April Woods lost their daughter Remy to a miscarriage in the second trimester. Remy was diagnosed in utero with 45x\/46xy, a rare disorder that can cause severe disabilities. April and Lindsey refused abortion.<\/p>\n

April recalls a conversation with the doctors:<\/p>\n

At one point I asked \u201cWhat\u2019s worst-case scenario here\u201d because prior to speaking to them we did not know the actual condition, so we did not realize how serious it could be.\u00a0 The genetic counselor said, \u201cIt depends on what you consider worst-case\u201d which is something that sticks with me because I thought the answer was obvious \u2013 not having our child survive \u2013 but still had to say it as they waited for an answer.<\/p>\n

April and Lindsey were devastated to learn in a subsequent appointment that Remy\u2019s heart had stopped beating. Lindsey had to be induced. The couple decided they wanted to bury Remy and hold a funeral.<\/p>\n

Doctors dehumanized their daughter by calling her \u201ctissue\u201d repeatedly. April writes:<\/p>\n

I heard the word tissue many times that day.\u00a0When we said we wanted to bury Remy we were told that they had to send the tissue to the lab to confirm they took out what they said they did.\u00a0 Every time I asked about the policy, they kept referring to her as tissue despite me continuously saying \u201cbaby.\u201d Every time I said baby in a sentence, they responded with the word tissue in its place.<\/p>\n

The couple\u2019s grief was made worse by the hospital\u2019s attitude:<\/p>\n

It made us disgusted that they could refer to our baby, who we just learned we lost a couple of hours prior, as tissue.\u00a0Their care lacked basic human decency as they refused to acknowledge our loss of our child.\u00a0We were crying and trying to wrap our minds around how we were going to tell our sons there was no longer a baby sibling in mommy\u2019s belly, and to hear the hospital employees say tissue over and over again like we had not lost our hopes and dreams made us feel like they were almost judging us for wanting to bury our daughter.\u00a0 It made the worst day of our lives ever worse because in that moment, every time they said tissue, it felt like we were completely alone in our grief.<\/p>\n

But the worst was yet to come.<\/p>\n

While Lindsey was still asleep from anesthesia, April prepared to take Remy\u2019s body to the funeral home. The hospital forced her to carry the remains of her child away in a bright orange biohazard bucket.\u00a0April says:<\/p>\n

A nurse approached me while I was in the waiting room. She looked like a deer in headlights and was doing her best to look me in the eye while she asked: Did anyone explain to you what exactly you\u2019ll be taking home with you today? She told me that our baby was in a bucket. A bio-hazard bucket. I could not picture what they were about to hand me, but I didn\u2019t want to walk down the hall with my dead child in a bucket that said BIOHAZARD and asked if there was anything else to put our baby in so I wasn\u2019t carrying my dead baby in a bucket down their hall . . . \u00a0It seemed so off \u2013 so horrid it seemed unreal that they would hand someone a bucket with their dead child and expect them to carry the bucket the entire distance of their long hallway that I really could not fully grasp the situation. She said she talked to a supervisor who said it had to be this way.<\/p>\n

I asked to at least put the bucket in a bag, or something, because I couldn\u2019t bear the thought of carrying a marked bucket down the hall.<\/p>\n

\"\"

Remy inside the bucket and bag<\/p><\/div>\n

The hospital gave April a Home Goods plastic bag, and April carried Remy to her car, in the bucket, with the plastic bag wrapped around it.<\/p>\n

April, a newly bereaved parent, was forced to cope with the hospital\u2019s refusal to acknowledge the humanity of her child. The hospital viewed Remy not as the precious, unique, and valuable human being she was, but as medical waste.<\/p>\n

Because preborn children are so dehumanized in our society, where thousands of them die daily in abortion, we should not be surprised that hospital staff members consider them only medical waste and not people. This grieving couple had their pain greatly magnified by hospital staff.<\/p>\n

The story illustrates how abortion can hurt even those who don\u2019t choose it. The dehumanization of April and Lindsey\u2019s baby may well be a result of the way our society views preborn babies, which is a result of legalized abortion. Staff members at the hospital dehumanized Remy because to them, she was just tissue, like the 3,000 preborn babies who are aborted daily.<\/p>\n

They didn\u2019t acknowledge Remy\u2019s humanity, or the fact that she was a unique, precious human being \u2013 a human being who was greatly loved.<\/p>\n

When April arrived at the funeral home, the staff there treated Remy\u2019s body with respect and dignity. Remy was buried in Reidy Cemetery in Wallaceton, PA, and the Woods are now doing a GoFundMe<\/a> to raise funds for a headstone.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

April says:<\/p>\n

We love you Remy, and I\u2019m so, so sorry that I couldn\u2019t stop this from happening to you. I can only hope that by sharing how you were treated we can change how others are treated.<\/p>\n

We can hope that those who read this story will try to influence medical providers to be more sensitive, and that any medical workers who read this article will realize how hurtful their attitudes toward preborn babies can be to bereaved parents. By going public, April and Lindsey hope to raise awareness of the despicable way miscarried babies are treated. But in a culture that dehumanizes preborn babies on a massive scale, changing the way these babies are viewed by doctors and hospital workers will be difficult.<\/p>\n

===============================<\/p>\n

For our posts on similar topics, see:\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

When \u201cChoice\u201d Itself Hurts the Quality of Life\u00a0<\/a><\/p>\n

Life-Affirming Doctors<\/a>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Will I be Treated the Same Way Now?<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

by Sarah Terzo Lindsey and April Woods lost their daughter Remy to a miscarriage in the second trimester. Remy was diagnosed in utero with 45x\/46xy, a rare disorder that can cause severe disabilities. April and Lindsey refused abortion. April recalls a conversation with the doctors: At one point I asked \u201cWhat\u2019s worst-case scenario here\u201d because… <\/p>\n